I need help removing her.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I am naked and annoyed.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
