question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
