Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
