I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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