the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
