a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Randomize
