You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
