i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
