do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I smell like Dick and happiness
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
