after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
