YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize