You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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