Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
