Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
