Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I want to have your abortion
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
