It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
