how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
