I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
