It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize