Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
