How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
