ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
