I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
