Ambien. No doubt about it.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
