Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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