Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I feel like abortions should bother me more
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Randomize
