I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
