does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize