I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
