Heybabeimwearingurpanties
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
