Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
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