She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I don't deserve a penis
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
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