My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
