His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
