dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
