I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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