I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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