Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
