She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
