Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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