You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
