Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize
