I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Randomize
