This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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