i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize