I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
