peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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