she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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