Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
