I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
