Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
