your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
