Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
