Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
