yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
