i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
