Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
