Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
