this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
